The Diary of a Tamaran Tourist
by Fire and Ice equals Slush
Summary: As if Earth couldn't have enough of AgentM! Now this crazy OC is Tamaran bound! Read and Review before the Tamaran officers track her down.
1. Welcome to Tamaran

Hey, yo, wassup! Slushie here with my OC, AgentM! If you do not understand what's going on, maybe you should check out the other three stories with AgentM: Don't Touch My Popcorn, The Diary of a HIVE Infiltrator, and The Diary of a Crazed Apprentice. This is like… a third book in the chronicles of "God only knows how long will last" by me. So, have fun and if I owned Teen Titans, I would rule the world with an iron fist.

Muahaha

And Teen Titans wouldn't be canceled.

However, I do not own Teen Titans. But I can dream my friends, oh I can dream…

**Chapter 1 Welcome to Tamaran**

AgentM: Testing 1-2-3 Testing. I am at the shuttle port for the 1:25 flight from Earth to Tamaran.

Pilot: Who are you?

AgentM: Hi! I'm the winner of the most obsessed fan of the year sweepstakes!

Pilot: Oh yeah, that contest. Go right on ahead.

AgentM: (walks into the space port)

Pilot: (on intercom) Please fasten your seatbelts. Making out departure to Tamaran, 26 light years away in the Star System Vega…

AgentM: (munches on honey roasted peanuts; THEY ROCK!)

Zooooooooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmm!

…………………………..

AgentM: Wow. (looks down at the white planet with pink stripes)

Pilot: Sure is nice, ain't it?

AgentM: Yeah…

Pilot: You really chose the right planet for a vacation. Tamaran is a beautiful planet of paradise and relaxation. I mean, just look at it! It's white with pink stripes, for crying out loud!

AgentM: Thanks for the lift, random guy in my diary/fic!

Pilot: My pleasure, AgentM! (leaves)

AgentM: (walks off) Ow… two carry-ons full of sugar is heavier than it looks…

………………………..

AgentM: I, AgentM, have decided to dedicate the remainder of this chapter to pondering the shape and color of the planet Tamaran. To help me, is Season 5 character, "Kole!"

Kole: Hi!

AgentM: And this is her sidekick, Gnark!

Gnark: Gnark!

AgentM: They have made a cameo to help me.

Kole: Sure!

Gnark: Gnark!

AgentM: Ok, Kole and Gnark… are you ready…?

Kole: Yep!

Gnark: Gnark!

AgentM: Okay! First, go outside to your front lawn.

Kole: (steps outside)

AgentM: Then, you make a snowball!

Kole: (forms a snowball)

AgentM: Next, you get the pre-mixed formula made of bubblegum, red food coloring, and… other pink stuff.

Gnark: (gets bottle)

AgentM: Then, you RAPIDLY SQUIRT THE SNOWBALL!

Gnark: Gnark! (squirts Kole)

Kole: Ah!

Gnark: (places bottle in squirt gun) Gnark! (squirts Kole harder)

Kole: Ah! Gnark!

Gnark: Gnark! (fills fire hose with pink liquid and destroys the snowball and Kole)

Kole: Aaaaah! My hair!

AgentM: Thus, the model of Tamaran… and also the origin of Kole's all-too-pink hair!

Kole: Grrr… (makes her arms crystal and starts poking AgentM)

AgentM: …

Kole: …

AgentM: …Stop poking me…

……………………………………..

Gasp! I'm sorry if Kole and Gnark's cameo was a spoiler, but I couldn't resist! I mean, just look at her hair! It looks like it's fruit-flavored!

Gnark: (chews on a piece of Kole's hair)

Kole: um… Gnark…?

Anyway, R&R!


	2. Entering Tamaran Palace

Hi, everyone! Thanks for reviewing! Um… not much else to be said…

Oh yeah, if you like Avatar the Last Airbender best get to my newest fanfiction and get your spleen checked.

Or lol… whatever you like…

**Chapter 2 Entering Tamaran Palace**

AgentM: Hi? Where's this hotel? (points to name and address on card)

RandomBuffAlienGuy: Hm? That would be the palace of Tamaran.

AgentM: I'm staying in the palace! (squeals)

RandomBuffAlienGuy: It is that way.

AgentM: Thanks! (walks off till gets to a long bunch of stairs)

AnotherRandomBuffAlienGuy: Is there any way I can be of service to you, strange one?

AgentM: Wah… I've only been here for a few seconds and people already think I'm weird… Which way's the palace, dude?

AnotherRandomBuffAlienGuy: Up those stairs…

AgentM: gk… ALL those stairs?

AnotherRandomBuffAlienGuy: tch… (walks off) What a freak alien girl…

AgentM: Best I get started! (prepares to walk up long staircase)

…….(few hours later)….

AgentM: Huff-Huff-Puff-GASP! (exhausted breathing noises but is finally at top) Whew! No wonder all the tamaranian men are buff and the tamaranian girls are so thin!

Guard: You freak alien girl! State your name, if you would please!

AgentM: I'm AgentM… fanfiction writer/OC/Titan kidnapper/ former HIVE student and Crazed Apprentice… who seriously thinks you guys need elevators!

Guard: You may proceed to the throne room!

AgentM: What for?

Guard: You are to meet with her majesty, Empress Komand'r Blackfire! (A.N: Takes place before Betrothed apparently…)

AgentM: Cool! Not as cool as Raven, but not a bad character! (walks to throne room)

Blackf: I am, Komand'r Blackfire, the queen of Tamaran!

AgentM: I am, AgentM AgentM, the mercenary of all that's sugary!

Blackf: Why have you come to my planet from Earth?

AgentM: (motions to paper) I won the sweepstakes…

Blackf: What sweepstakes?

AgentM: This one. (shows paper)

Blackf: Hm… I see… but that doesn't mean I welcome you on my planet!

AgentM: Oh please let me stay! I'll be a very good slave/guest!

Blackf: SECURITY!

AgentM: Ok! Ok! Sheesh! Just let me stay please!

Blackf: What are you able to do?

AgentM: I-I'm a fanfiction sorceress! I can play the tuba! I-!

Blackf: WhoaWhoaWhoa! Hold up! What was that first part?

AgentM: …I-I'm a fanfiction sorceress?

Blackf: …

AgentM: …

Blackf: …. … … wazzat?

AgentM: (le gasp) You don't know what's a fanfiction sorceress! (takes a deep breath)

Starts singing:

"My name's AgentM, just one letter and it's mine!"

"With plenty of sugar is how I like to dine!"

"I battle ferocious orcs"

"With my faithful, reliable spork!"

"And if you want to dance to the beat of bunny."

"Then, you'd think I'm pretty funny."

"But if you're sane at mind."

"You will send me comments flaming and unkind."

"FAAAAANFIIIIICTION SORCERESS!"

"(background: Sorceress!)"

"FAAAAAAAAAANFIIIIIIIIIIICTION SORCERESS!"

"(background: Sorceress!)"

"Lalala… Dedede! Lalala… Dedede-!"

Blackf: Ok! Ok! That's enough!

AgentM: So… can I stay?

Blackf: …

AgentM: …

Blackf: You're a freak, aintcha?

AgentM: (smiles) That's right!

Blackf: … off with her head…

Guards: (carry her away)

………………………………………………


	3. AgentM makes her escape!

Lalala… nothing to say…

**Chapter 3 AgentM makes her escape!**

Guards: (currently torturing AgentM)

AgentM: (Gasp) (Gasp) SHIRE! (Gasp) BAGGINS! (Gasp)

Head Guard: That is enough!

AgentM: It burns us! It buuuurns us!

Guards: (let go of AgentM)

Head Guard: Eat, alien freak!

AgentM: (takes the moldy bread) So… what are you going to do with me? (sprinkles bread with sugar in a large sugar shaker behind her back)

Head Guard: You will rot in this prison cell for dishonoring our beloved queen!

AgentM: …why do you obey her orders?

Head Guard: I dunno.

Other Guard: Yeah, we dunno.

Another Guard: Why do we?

Another Other Guard: She is hot…

Other Guard: P'anka'yke!

Another Guard: Well… he's got a point there.

AgentM: tch… you guys are losers.

Head Guard: (kicks AgentM) Cease the talking, alien freak!

AgentM: (swallows moldy/sugary bread) Can I have my lab top?

Head Guard: Why would you need that?

AgentM: Um… to, uh… check my e-mails?

Head Guard: Oh, uh… yes, of course… it would be terribly awful of us not to let you…

AgentM: Thanks! Hm… let's see… (starts typing) "…the khaki coated OC was being imprisoned by the hostile aliens. Her mystical labtop gave her the courage and the hidden trunk of sugar gave her the strength to subdue her capturers and escape…"

Head Guard: Okay! Break's over! Let's torture her some more!

AgentM: (swallows the trunk of sugar) I HAVE THE POOOOWER!

Head Guard: What in X'Hal's name-!

AgentM: (socks the Head Guard's lights out)

Guards: Raaah! (approach AgentM)

AgentM: Ki-yah! (Rapid Super Punch Attack Auto-fire) … don't worry P'anka'yke, I like you a lot!

P'anka'yke: I thank you for sparing my life!

AgentM: No problem! Say, do you know where the exit is?

P'anka'yke: Sure! (points to the sign with the glowing "Exit" on it in green)

AgentM: Thanks! (runs out the door)

…………………………………

AgentM: (gasp) (gasp) too… much… running… (collapses)

MysteriousAlienWoman: pst… please folly over here.

AgentM: Hm? (walks towards MysteriousAlienWoman) Hiya!

MysteriousAlienWoman: Zol!

AgentM: I'm AgentM the Obsessinator, from planet Earth!

MysteriousAlienWoman: My name is Cata'ryna the Peasant Girl… from here.

AgentM: Say, do you have a place I can crash for the night? Pretty please with gummy bears on top?

Cata'ryna: Please… what is this "crash" and "bears of gummy" you speak of?

AgentM: "Crash" is the Earth term for going to a party late at night and crawling to your superbly sympathetic friend so he can bale you out of the parking tickets and let you sleep in his closet till the morning comes and his parents kick you out and then your parents kill you. "Gummy Bears" are a delectable treat of Earth processed by enslaved Pandas and made from various unidentified liquids.

Cata'ryna: … … … oh…

AgentM: So could I please spend the night? The Tamaranian government is after me.

Cata'ryna: Weary travelers and convicts are always welcome.

AgentM: Thanks! I'm so glad I can trust a total stranger whom I never met before and totally lay my life in her hands which I also find trusting!

……………………………………………..

R&R

Hehe… if this was an anime, AgentM's attack would be called "Rapid Super Punch Attack Auto-fire™!"

HELP US IN THE ENSLAVED PANDA REVOLUTION!

Too long, have the poor pandas been abused and tortured in sweat shops, making low-cal cookies and snacks, for minimum wage!


	4. Yeah, I'll have one Frappuccino

Oo… Wow, so many people supporting out Panda Revolution… RIGHT ON!

Happy B-Day Doc. King!

**Chapter 4 Yeah, I'll have one Frappuccino…**

AgentM: So… where are we going Cata'ryna?

Cata'ryna: To the rebel base. You see, you are not so alone yourself. We are convicts as well… rebels. We have always supported the second born, Koriand'r Starfire.

AgentM: (shakes head) …never been much for politics… I'm more of a sugar-addict… So where is this rebel base for Starfire located?

Cata'ryna: Right there! (points to a large building with a huge sign)

AgentM: … … … Starbucks?

Cata'ryna: No. Sta'rbuuck's!

AgentM: …

Cata'ryna: …

AgentM: … … … I have no idea how you just said that…

Cata'ryna: Sta'rbuuck's! It is the name of our rebel base from which we stay loyal to second-born Starfire while making a buck or two…

AgentM: Indeed… (follows into Sta'rbuuck's)

………………………………

AgentM: OMG! P'anka'yke!

P'anka'yke: You are correct!

AgentM: Wassup! What are you doing here?

Cata'ryna: … you know her?

AgentM: Yeah, he does! We're real tight! He was one of the dudes that tortured me in prison! I still got the scars to prove it! (flexes scars) Neat, huh? (points) I'm going to name this one Stefan, and this one Darren, and this one-!

Cata'ryna: Riiiiiiiight. Interesting information… Now! Since you met him in the dungeons, I shall explain the circumstance! (motions towards P'anka'yke) He's our double agent!

P'anka'yke: So, AgentM? Shall you join us in our never ending battle against the Tamaran government?

AgentM: Sure! Why not?

Cata'ryna: Uh… we could give you time to think about your decision…

AgentM: Oh… Well. Heck! They hate me already! Might as well make the biggest, explosive impression of myself, AGENTM THE HIGH AND MIGHTY MERCINARY OF ALL THAT'S SUGARY!

P'anka'yke: That is the spirit!

……………………….

AgentM: If Starfire ruled Tamaran, it would be filled with fluffy pink clouds and cute furry kitties that would prance and purr at the warm snuggly universe.

………………………

AgentM: Say, P'anka'yke… Can I get a cool Tamaran name?

P'anka'yke: Well, we don't receive our names at birth. Once after we are younglings capable of flight and our eyes have opened, we have to perform a difficult task before receiving our official title which we have to cherish with all our owner and dignity…

AgentM: I'm thinking… AGENTM a.k.a PEPSI-STAR!

P'anka'yke: How lame…

AgentM: Fine, since you're P'anka'yke… how about… B'UTT'RD T'OST!

P'anka'yke: … … … (is flustered) I'm sorry… I don't quite understand it… Is this a play upon my name?

AgentM: …sorta… least, I thought…

P'anka'yke: (whimpers)

AgentM: No, no… it's not what I meant! I!

P'anka'yke: (in tears) I was named by my deceased father after (sniff) a mighty Okaaran warrior! (sniff)

AgentM: Really? In my world, it's a thin, squishy cake that you drown in syrup and force into your roommate's mouth…

P'anka'yke: (whimpers) Eek! (faints; is frothing at the mouth)

AgentM: Wow… y'all take your names _too_ seriously…

………………………………………

R&R

BTW,

P'anka'yke… I made him up over the breakfast table, um… on the morning he showed up in the fic…

Cata'ryna… she was going to show up in my other fic "Luster." She was the daughter of a royal official in the Tamaran palace. You should really read that story, it's not funny at all, but at least I tried…

Yeah, and Catarina was the "back-up" name when I was born. Don't laugh, at least it's better than my brother's "back-up" name, Everett. (shudders)


	5. Ode to Slug

Gah… I'm squeezing my brains out for finals… only a little trickle was left and dropped into this chapter… uug… sorry… I'm apologizing beforehand, because I might not be able to update next Friday… So, just check up on the following Friday… sorrysorrysorry!

**Chapter 5 Ode to Slug**

AgentM: …I'm hungry… got any ramen?

P'anka'yke: No, but shall you partake on this delicious slug I am seasoning!

AgentM: Seasoned Slug? With…

P'anka'yke: With salt and soy sauce!

AgentM: Seasoned Slug with salt and soy sauce? …No.

P'anka'yke: Sure?

AgentM: Certainly…

……………………….

AgentM: …so… hungry…

Cata'ryna: Please, AgentM! You must eat something or you will surely die! And if you die, it is _I_ who will have to clean your rotting carcass!

AgentM: …but… slug…

Cata'ryna: Oooo! You will just have to get use to Tamaran diet! I mean, it can not be that bad by some Earth tastes such as your beef tongue, and frog legs, and chicken feet…!

AgentM: (springs up) I KNOW!

Cata'ryna: Know what…?

AgentM: (jumps onto table) I WILL JOURNEY TO THE LAND OF BOBA!

Cata'ryna: The planet of Bo'ba is completely off limits! If they catch you-!

AgentM: Don't worry, Cata'ryna… they won't catch me…

Cata'ryna: How can you be so sure?

AgentM: …because… I am from Earth… From Earth I came… And in being an Earthling gave me some unique characteristics… like you guys being able to shoot star bolts and fly, we Earthlings were born with a powerful ability… the ability to search for the boba… to track down the boba… to capture the boba… and to consume the boba and all its squishy, pearly goodness and its milky, sugary liquid-ness…

Cata'ryna: You are insane-

AgentM: -and don't forget it! (leaves)

……………………………

AgentM: (walks back in) hehe …uh, any of you guys got a space ship I can borrow…?

P'anka'yke: (throws her the keys)

AgentM: (catchs them) Thanks! And, uh, don't mention this to Cata'ryina… my last, grand exit was supposed to be the…last…grand… one… (leaves)

…………………………

AgentM: (is cruising… WHOO HOO!) Hm… The planet of Bo'ba is quite some light years away from the Star System Vega…

CentauriPolice: Halt!

AgentM: Sup!

CentauriPolice: We are the Centauri Police!

AgentM: I am one crazy OC cruisin' in a space ship!

CentauriPolice: This area is off limits!

AgentM: How was I supposed to know this area was off limits?

CentauriPolice: (points to off-limits sign)

AgentM: …oh… hehehe… Well… I… am… Empress Komand'r Blackfire?

CentauriPolice: No you are not!

AgentM: Yes, I am! Fear me…

CentauriPolice: The empress of Tamaran has black hair, yours is neon green!

AgentM: Dang! They must know that one…

CentauriPolice: Turn your ship right now!

AgentM: I CAN'T!

CentauriPolice: WHY NOT?

AgentM: I DUNNO HOW!

CentauriPolice: Do you even have a license?

AgentM: Um, no. I just moved here, I'm from Earth…

CentauriPolice: GASP! DID YOU JUST SAY FROM EARTH?

AgentM: Uh… yeah…

CentauriPolice: "vibrant hair... female Earthling… weirdo" GASP! I AM SO, SO SORRY YOUR MAJESTY!

AgentM: …w-wat?

CentauriPolice: O-oh! R-Right this way your h-highness!

AgentM: …uh… thanks… (thinking, 'he must know me from my fanfictions…')

………………………

AgentM: (enters Planet Bo'ba)

Randomperson: R-R-R-R-R-R-Right this way, M-M-Ma'am!

AgentM: …thanks…?

AnotherRandomperson: M-My lady!

AgentM: Yo lady?

AnotherRandomperson: My lady!

AgentM: Me lady?

AnotherRandomperson: Yes!

AgentM: Ooooh…

AnotherRandomperson: We were not expecting you so soon! But we managed to get ready in a hurry! N-Not that we rushed too much to prepare for you! W-We always enjoy your visits!

AgentM: WhoaWhoaWhoaWhoa! Hold on! I think y'all got me confused with the wrong person!

AnotherRandomPerson: What are you saying, my lady?

AgentM: (points to herself) Who am I?

AnotherRandomPerson: My lady!

AgentM: Yes! Yes! I know! But who am I, specifically?

AnotherRandomPerson: Um, Uh! HermajestythebeautifulandmercilesswarlordbornonEarthwhotookoverourplanettoharvestbobaanditsdeliciousness?

AgentM: AAAAAAAAHHHHH!

AnotherRandomPerson: My lady!

AgentM: AAAAAAAH! YOU THINKG I'M HermajestythebeautifulandmercilesswarlordbornonEarthwhotookoverourplanettoharvestbobaanditsdeliciousness!

AnotherRandomPerson: W-What is going on? Oh, I am so, so sorry, my lady! Please have mercy! I did not mean to offend you!

AgentM: AAAAAAH! I'M SOOOO DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAD!

…………………………………..

R&R


	6. And her name was Fruit

Thank you guys so much for the week off! It really helped my studying! Let's see… I got 3 A's, 2 B's, and a C… but that's P.E so I don't really care…

Chapter 6 And her name was Fruit

AgentM: NONONONONONONONONONONONONONO…!

HeadWorkerDude: You're majesty! It's so great for you to join us so soon!

AgentM: NONONONONONONONONONONONONONO…!

HeadWorkerDude: Um… you're grace? Is something wrong?

AgentM: NONONONOOOOO! I AM SOOOO DEEEEAD!

HeadWorkerDude: Um… uh… Bo'ba has certainly become an economically strong planet, the boba harvests are quite plentiful, and all is being shipped to Earth as we speak…

AgentM: I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA-!

HeadWorkerDude: Um? (hands her milk tea w/ boba)

AgentM: DIIIE-? (snatches drink)

HeadWorkerDude: …

AgentM: …

HeadWorkerDude: …

AgentM: …. … … … … … …mine.

HeadWorkerDude: Surely some fresh boba, Bo'ba grown, would sustain your ever busy mind!

AgentM: (slurp) Oh… (slurp) My… (slurp) ... SOOOOO GOOOOOD! (falls under spell)

HeadWorkerDude: I'm glad you enjoy it, ma'am!

AgentM: … … … gotanymore?

HeadWorkerDude: (opens big huge garage door revealing… what else? TONS O' BOBA!)

AgentM: Eek!

HeadWorkerDude: Well?

AgentM: OmigoshOmigoshOmigoshOmigoshOmigosh…!

HeadWorkerDude: You like?

AgentM: yesyesyesyesyesyesthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou…!

HeadWorkerDude: I am always in your service, ma'am! (bows and exits)

……………………………….

HeadWorkerDude: Your majesty?

AgentM: Yeah! This totally rocks, dude! I should be queen of a boba planet more often! (sips)

HeadWorkerDude: That's very good your highness. By the way… (stuffs druggy rag up her face)

AgentM: Mmrf-! Zzzzz… zzzzz….

………………………………..

AgentM: (wakes up) mmm… …ermmm… mmmm… … … … WOYA!

HeadWorkerDude: She's over here your majesty!

QueenofBo'ba: (looks like a crazy, blood-thirsty Asian warlord lady like in the movies that can kick butt and be very hot and poised at the same time) I can see that you little insect! Hello, AgentM.

AgentM: Hiya!

QueenofBo'ba: Might I ask why you are here… on my planet… and doing things like… Oh, I don't know… impersonating me?

AgentM: Huh? Oh yeah! That! Um, sorry? Um… and you are?

QueenofBo'ba: I DO NOT TOLLERATE SUCH INSOLENCE ON MY PLANET!

AgentM: WELL, SOOOORY, LADY! I COULD'NT HELP IT THAT YOUR BOBA IS SO DARN DELICIOUS! … …. … canIgetarefill?

QueenofBo'Ba: I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I AM A MIGHTY AND POWERFUL EMPRESS… EVEN HIGHER AND MORE EVIL THAN THE TAMARAN EMPRESS KOMAND'R BLACKFIRE!

AgentM: WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

QueenofBo'Ba: MY NAME IS FRUIT!

AgentM: WHY IS YOUR NAME FRUIT?

QueenofBo'ba: …oh… I don't know…

AgentM: What are your parents' names?

Fruit: Bob and Amy. My brother's name's George and my sister's name's Sally.

AgentM: Got a back-up name?

Fruit: Cheesepuffs…

AgentM: No thank you.

Fruit: No that's just it… Cheesepuffs…

AgentM: Oh. (mumbles) Makes me lucky to have only a one-letter name… (comes back) So, if your parents' names are Bob and Amy, and your siblings' names are George and Sally… and your name is Fruit and your back-up name is Cheesepuffs… … … why?

Fruit: Oh… um, I never really thought about it… I guess I just got a bad childhood…

AgentM: Yes, I do think so.

Fruit: (dries tears with hankie) Yes, I did have a bad childhood…

AgentM: That's okay, you can't let things like that affect you. You are your own person.

Fruit: Oh. I suppose your right.

AgentM: You must dig deep down inside of you and find your true person. Just forget about your past! You can't let it control you!

Fruit: You're right! You're most certainly right!

AgentM: … … … so… canIgetarefill?

Fruit: No.

AgentM: … … … so… can I leave?

Fruit: No.

AgentM: … … … so… what are you going to do with me?

Fruit: Sell you as a slave to the Gordonians.

AgentM: Ah! Yes. Okay. That's… that's usually what happens in cases like this…

Fruit: You are indeed well informed.

AgentM: So I'm told. Um, well, it was nice meeting you.

Fruit: Likewise.

AgentM: Maybe we can chat over an Almond Milk Tea sometime after I'm sold as a slave to the Gordonians?

Fruit: Yes. I would like that very much.

AgentM: Goodbye, Fruit!

Fruit: Good luck, AgentM!

…………………………………….

(in the Gordonian ship)

AgentM: …so…

GordonianGuard: (grunts)

AgentM: … …how much was I bought for?

GordonianGuard: ONE THOUSAND AND FIFTY NINE GRUBFARS!

AgentM: WOYA! How much is that?

GordonianGuard: In Earth currency? Um… about a dollar and twenty eight cents.

AgentM: Blast! The space-ship food was twenty bucks!

GordonianGuard: Just cease the talking, Earth freak!

AgentM: Why should I?

GordonianGuard: (zaps her)

AgentM: gzzAAAAG!

GordonianGuard: That's why.

AgentM: sssss sssss… can I have my lab top?

GordonianGuard: No.

AgentM: Whoa. So heartless!

GordonianGuard: (chuckles and blushes) Yeah...

(cell phone jingle)

GordonianGuard: Whoop! Hold on, that's mine! (takes out cell phone) Hello? Yes. Take the Earth freak out? It's time for her slave work/torture? Uh, huh. Yes? NO WAY! YES? OH No! HOLD ON! I-I'LL BE RIGHT THERE! (turns off cell phone)

AgentM: What? What happened?

GordonianGuard: M-My wife! She's having a baby!

AgentM: Omigosh! Congratulations!

GordonianGuard: Thanks! We have really been cherishing these past few months together!

AgentM: Girl or boy?

GordonianGuard: Twins! Twin girls!

AgentM: No way! Congratulations!

GordonianGuard: I know! I-I can't believe this is happening so soon!

AgentM: Well what are you waiting for? Go to her! Go to her, man!

GordonianGuard: Huh? Oh yeah, right! I gotta go help my honey! Uh, uh… Here! (throws AgentM the keys) Here's the keys! Do you mind unlocking yourself and finding your way to the torture cells yourself? I'm really sorry, but I-I-I-!

AgentM: No problem! You have an important thing to go to! Go on! Go on! I'll be fine!

GordonianGuard: Oh thank you! Thank you so much! I can't believe it! I'm a father! I'm a faaather! (runs off)

AgentM: Bye! Have a great day!

…………………………….

AgentM: Um, excuse me? I'm a little lost. Can you tell me which way's the torture cells?

GordonianGuard2: AgentM?

AgentM: Um, yes. That's me. I'm sorry, was it a left turn at the electrocuted fence or a right turn at the dungeon of various sharp objects?

GordonianGuard2: AgentM! We've been looking everywhere for you!

AgentM: Really?

GordonianGuard2: (flips off GordonianGuard2 mask)

AgentM: WHOA! P'ANKA'YKE?

P'anka'yke: Zol!

AgentM: What are you doing here?

P'anka'yke: We stowed in and dressed up like Gordonian Guards to bust you out, but we could not find you!

AgentM: Well, I am scheduled for my torture at the torture cells, but I guess that can wait.

P'anka'yke: _Yes_ it can wait. _Of course_ it can wait!

AgentM: Where's Cata'ryna?

P'anka'yke: She was disguised as a slave from Garlon Prime, but then she was called away and I could not find her! Something about birthing Gordonian baby twins…

AgentM: Well, we gotta go find her! And get out of here!

P'anka'yke: Of course! (hands her a weapon) Know anything about infiltrating alien bases and rescue?

AgentM: Of course I do! I've done it a hundred times on Halo 2!

P'anka'yke: All right! Let us do this!

……………………………………..

R&R

Slushie (tats me): (pops open apple cider) Whoo-ha! Celebration! Welcome to life, new baby Gordonian Twins.

GordonianGuard: Thank you very much for coming to my daughters' first birthday!

Slushie: No prob! (steals all the red eggs and leaves) MUAHAHAHA!


	7. A Peculiar Niche

Gosh I just love Teen Titans... (sobs) Please write the letter if you haven't already…

I caught "Things Change" fairly recently… man… those producers really just cater to us…I hope you guys realize that… we should be grateful.

**Happy Sun**: Hopefully this chapter will enlighten the names of the Gordonian twins. BTW, Gordonians are the alien race that pretty much does bad things like take over planets and sell Tamarans as slaves. They showed up in this season's "Go" and were mentioned in "Sisters." They look kinda like fish/alien/ishypeople.

**Xerxes93**: Can never have too much sugar.

**Chapter 7 A Peculiar Niche**

AgentM: (blasts some aliens) Yeah! Yeah! Die! Die! Die! OH YEAH! Want soma dis? Here! MUAHAHA! DIE DIE DIE!

P'anka'yke: Okay, practice is over now so shut off the "Halo 2" and prepare for the real thing…

AgentM: Awww… (turns off X box)

…………………………….

(the real thing)

P'anka'yke: I can not… believe it…

AgentM: Say no more…

P'anka'yke: I shall repeat it. I can not believe it!

AgentM: P'anka'yke…

P'anka'yke: I CAN NOT BELIEVE WE GOT CAPTURED BEFORE WE GOT TO KILL A SINGLE GORDONIAN!

AgentM: I'm sorry…

P'anka'yke: You are the worst rebel ever.

AgentM: (mopes)

P'anka'yke: Oh. I am so sorry if I upset you. Please forgive me.

AgentM: Thanks P'anka'yke. I'm sorry that I ditched you to find a vending machine.

P'anka'yke: You do not even have Gordonian currency.

AgentM: Darnit.

……………………………..

GordonianGuard: Hello, Earth scum!

AgentM: Say… aren't you that Gordonian guard that tortured me?

GordonianGuard: Yes.

AgentM: So how are the wife and kids?

GordonianGuard: Oh, she's fine, and the twins are beautiful. We are both so proud.

AgentM: That's great! What are their names?

GordonianGuard: Well, we're both discussing it together but haven't come up with anything yet.

AgentM: Try a one letter name with a really cool back-up name!

P'anka'yke: Or P'anka'yke! P'anka'yke is always a good name! Very noble and strong!

GordonianGuard: Well… we'll think about it.

AgentM: Say, do you know what they're going to do with us?

GordonianGuard: The Gordonian leader, Trogaar will see you!

AgentM: Trogaar?

P'anka'yke: Not if we can escape first!

AgentM: Why's his name Trogaar…?

P'anka'yke: You will never succeed in your evil plans!

AgentM: Really now… Trogaar?

P'anka'yke: We will put an end to your slavery and dictatorship!

AgentM: Trogaar's even worse than P'anka'yke's name… even worse than Fruit…

P'anka'yke: Right, AgentM?

AgentM: Trogaar… hm… Trogaar…

P'anka'yke: AgentM? Um… back me up here…

AgentM: (tastes sound in mouth) Trooogaaaar… TroGAR… TrOgAr… TrrogaaaAar…

P'anka'yke: Ugh… so hopeless…

…………………………….

Trogaar: …trooogaaar… TroGAR… TrOgAr…. TrrogaaaAr…. TroGaaaaR…

GordonianGuard: Um, Lord Trogaar?

Trogaar: …trOOOgaar… TROgar…

AgentM: What's a matter with him?

GordonianGuard: (whispers) Bad childhood.

Trogaar: (repeats name for few minutes before realizing he had visitors) TroGaAaA- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!

GordonianGuard: (bows-y) Lord Trogaar, I bring you the strange/freakish Earthling and the Tamaran rebel.

AgentM: Shoelaces!

Trogaar: Yes, she is most certainly strange and freakish. And she looks like an Earthling.

P'anka'yke: You cannot keep us here! I spit on all of you! Your government! Your leader! (spit) (spit) (spit) (spit-ity) (SPIT!)

Trogaar: Well, he sounds like a rebel to me. And has the distinct coloring of a Tamaranian, although he is not all that buff.

P'anka'yke: Hey! On my planet they used to call me P'anka'yke the Brave!

Trogaar: P'anka'yke? That's a stupid name…

P'anka'yke: (sniffles) named after… (sniffles) Okaaran… (sniffle) …warlord…

AgentM: Hey! Don't make fun of his name! It's a good name! Who hates pancakes? I'll tell you! No one! No one does! That's because they're not that hard to make! And if you buy the store brand at the supermarket, they're pretty cheap too! And you, Trooooogaaaar? Are you named after a breakfast cake? Huh? Are you? Are you? Don't think so!

P'anka'yke: (is in awe)

Trogaar: I hate pancakes. They give me gas. I like bobas better, personally. Even though my nephew choked on one and died.

AgentM: Okay… one, how can you choke on a boba? If you get one lodged in your throat it's not that hard to push back down, and that's with a tiny Earth throat! Two… how can pancakes give you gas?

Trogaar: You talk tough for someone so small.

AgentM: And you talk random for someone who's not a fanfiction writer!

GordonianGuard: She's got a point there.

Trogaar: ARG! I had enough of this! Kill them both!

GordonianGuard: GRAAAH!

AgentM&P'anka'yke: AAAAAAAAAAH!

Cata'ryna: (suddenly appears) I have come to save you, in the nick of time! (pulls out a sword and hacks off Trogaar's head)

AgentM: WHA? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? MY FIC'S LIGHT RATING!

Cata'ryna: Huh? Oh… sorry…

GordonianGuard: Not to worry, Gordonian heads grow back!

AgentM: WHAT? EWWWWWW! THAT'S GROSS!

GordonianGuard: See?

Trogaar: (heads grow back) Yeah, it is a pretty nifty alien advantage!

AgentM: Still that's just… ew…. Ugh…. I'm gonna barf….

GordonianGuard: Don't worry! See? No blood on the floors! And the head grew back! Trogaar's not dead! See? You don't have to change the rating!

AgentM: Gee… Thanks you guys… so much… still, that's pretty sick!

GordonianGuard: It's a natural part of Gordonian life! An adaptation, a peculiar niche! No shame in that!

AgentM: Well… if you put it that way… I guess that's ok…

Cata'ryna: Wow! You learn something new every day!

P'anka'yke: I agree! That is pretty handy!

Trogaar: Thank you. But now, I will have to kill you.

Cata'ryna: (hacks off his head… again)

AgentM: EWWW! CUT IT OUT, CATA'RYNA!

Cata'ryna: What? They said it grows back again!

AgentM: Still! That's just… ugh… (shivers)

Trogaar: Pop! (head grows back)

Cata'ryna: See? No harm done!

AgentM: But, you could have saved him the trouble!

Cata'ryna: Well how else are we going to make our escape and defeat the Gordonians?

AgentM: Not hacking their heads, no!

P'anka'yke: But weren't we going to fry them with our lasers?

AgentM: Frying aliens with lasers doesn't count! It's pretty light! I mean, Starfire does it all the time, dancing and singing about frying people's heads with her starbolts!

P'anka'yke: Whoa. You are possibly correct. Cartoon Network does accept lasers.

AgentM: Yeah, you can't blow someone's skull with a bullet, but you can incinerate their flesh with a laser, WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?

Cata'ryna: It is because kids can get their hands on guns, but not lasers. At least… not on Earth… and not till you're eighteen…

AgentM: Oh. (is pleased) Now life makes sense again!

Trogaar: Then you wouldn't mind if I end it-!

Cata'ryna: (hacks off his head)

AgentM: CATA'RYNA!

Cata'ryna: Oh dear. We do have a dilemma…

……………………………………

(somehow managed to escape)

AgentM: Yeah… we somehow managed to escape…

Cata'ryna: Somehow…

P'anka'yke: …we succeeded…

AgentM: Confused?

Cata'ryna&P'anka'yke: (nods heads)

AgentM: That's good! I can explain it to you! You see, Cata'ryna tried hackin' off Trogaar's heads which kept growing back. Of course, with this the scenario is endless and time consuming. P'anka'yke and I played cards and luckily the GordonianGuard brought his i-pod so we all listened to his downloaded tunes. Around maybe the seventy third song (which was Ready-Steady-Go by L'ArcenCiel) we noticed a fluorescent sign that said "Exit" in green. We packed up our stuff and left…

Cata'ryna: That is it?

AgentM: Pretty much.

P'anka'yke: And we did not kill a single Gordonian?

AgentM: Nope.

Cata'ryna: Huh.

P'anka'yke: How about that.

AgentM: Yeah.

Blackf: …finally we got you…

AgentM: Huh? (turns around and sees whole mess of Tamaranian army)

Blackf: Took us a while to find you, but we tracked down your ship and stow onto it. (turns towards P'anka'yke and Cata'ryna) You are all under arrest for treason against the Tamaran government.

AgentM: And me?

Blackf: For being strange and freakish.

AgentM: Ah.

Blackf: How do you plead?

AgentM: For more reviews and for readers to favorite this story? Like this! (gets on bended knee) PLEEEEEEEEEEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE FAVORITE THIS STORY!

Blackf: (kicks AgentM)

AgentM: Ow! Ok! Ok!

Blackf: YOU ARE ALL BANISHED FROM MY PLANET!

Cata'ryna: You can not banish us! Tamaran has been our home since we were younglings!

Blackf: Maybe you should have thought about that before you became rebels.

AgentM: Don't banish them! Please don't!

Blackf: Than what am I supposed to do with my spare time? I'm an empress. It is what I do. I have to boss people around and those who resist. It is my destiny!

AgentM: …you could be a lot easier on your people…

Blackf: Why should I?

AgentM: …they'll… like you better?

Blackf: They never liked me. Never cared, never gave the smallest, dismal amount of concern! So this is the empty result of a bad childhood, so this is what they deserve!

AgentM: No! No! You can't think things like that!

Blackf: I can't hear you! LALALA!

AgentM: Oh yeah? OH YEAH? BLABLABLABLABLA…!

Blackf: OOOH! I'm not LIIIIIISTENING! LALALALA! I cannot hear you! LALALA…!

AgentM: This is all I hear! BLABLABLABLABLABLABLA! You can TOO hear me! BLABLABLABLA!

Blackf: LALALALALALALALA…!

AgentM: BLABLABLABLABLABLA…!

Cata'ryna: STOP!

Blackf: La?

AgentM: Bla?

Cata'ryna: OMIGOSH! THIS IS CRAZY! AgentM! You really do not have to do this!

AgentM: I'm fighting for you!

Cata'ryna: No you are not! You are making a fool of yourself in front of the readers!

AgentM: Gasp!

Cata'ryna: Is there not a convenient, non-screaming and lalalala-ing way to settle this?

AgentM: I know! We'll all go to Earth!

P'anka'yke: Brilliant!

Blackf: One prob.

AgentM: What?

Blackf: I want to kill you three.

AgentM: Hm… this is a big problem…

Blackf: Huge… now, TAKE 'EM AWAY BOYS!

Blackf's Guards: (takes 'em away…)

………………………….

R&R


	8. Hairy Peaches

Xerxes93: Um… pretty sure I said "he" a couple of times. But, the fact that you still thought it wrong is my fault entirely. Sigh… I guess that's the trouble with introducing so many new characters in fic.

Canaarie: You're on! (grabs X-Box controller)

Happy Sun: Yay! Best present ever!

ninjaofdeath: Neither. Trogaar is an actual Teen Titans character. He showed up in Season 5's episode "Go."

**Chapter 8 Hairy Peaches**

AgentM: Hm… 1,2,3rd time captured in a week. Not bad, I suppose.

Cata'ryna: Not bad?

AgentM: Could be worse!

Cata'ryna: Worse than an execution?

AgentM: W-W-W-WHAT? Execution? I just thought they were going to torture me s'more!

Cata'ryna: For being weird, the punishment is light. For messing with them, the punishment is much more sinister.

AgentM: OH DANG! WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!

Cata'ryna: Yeah… no kidding…

P'anka'yke: But we thank you for your concern.

AgentM: You're welcome. But still, WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!

P'anka'yke: Well. Why do you not escape like how you did last time?

AgentM: Last time? I-I'll see what I can do. (inhales and starts typing, "… … … …")

P'anka'yke: Is it that easy? All I see are the little dots.

AgentM: Arg! Writer's block! Writer's block!

Cata'ryna: Oh my X'hal… you are kidding…

AgentM: No I'm not! Grrrr! Those Gordonians must have injected me with the deadly writer's block serum!

P'anka'yke: (gasps)

AgentM: It's a vile concoction of mixed enzymes that paralyzes the nervous system! Symptoms can range from the inability to move your fingers or maybe even leave your brain in a catatonic state!

P'anka'yke: (gasps)

Cata'ryna: (sighs) SOooo… we are doomed?

AgentM: Nonono! We're just _temporarily_ doomed… maybe even _partially _doomed.

P'anka'yke: soooooo…

AgentM: All I need is some sugar to counteract the writer's block neurotoxins.

Cata'ryna: Sure! Sugar! We have plenty over here!

AgentM: C'mon? NO sugar? Not even Non-dairy creamer?

P'anka'yke: I do believe I still have some of the seasoned slug!

AgentM: … … you STILL have that thing?

P'anka'yke: Would it suffice?

AgentM: Um… SURE! WHY NOT? LET'S GIVE IT A WHIRL! YEAH!

Cata'ryna: It could unleash a chemical reaction upon the neurotoxin!

AgentM: Sheesh! I don't like to think! I'm a Teen Titans fanfic authoress, remember? Let's just GO!

Cata'ryna: sigh…

P'anka'yke: Bottoms upward! (throws slug into AgentM's mouth)

AgentM: … … … … … … not bad…

Cata'ryna: Well did it work?

AgentM: I dunno… I- ARRRG! UG! OOOOH! (holds stomach)

P'anka'yke: AgentM! Are you all right? What is the matter?

AgentM: ARRRG! AAAAAR! I FEEL LIKE MY FLESH IS BURNING! WHAT THE HECK IS HAPPENING? I-AAAR! AAAAA! (doubles over)

Cata'ryna: (rushes to AgentM) Omigosh! I knew this would happen! P'anka'yke! I-I-I do not know what to do!

AgentM: Ugggggh. Arrrg. _P-Please… s-stop the burning… p-p-please_…

Cata'ryna: I-I do not know! P'anka'yke! Please help! She is dying!

P'anka'yke: (picks up AgentM) Cata'ryna! Blast the wall with your starbolts, NOW!

Cata'ryna: B-But we already tried that!

P'anka'yke: JUST DO IT! JUST TRY AGAIN!

Cata'ryna: Uh. O-oh… (concentrates energy) …PAH! (blasts the wall through)

P'anka'yke: We gotta find one of the Tamaran guards! Or Blackfire!

Cata'ryna: T-the empress?

P'anka'yke: Hurry! We have got to find someone!

Cata'ryna: A-all right…

(boths runs off)

…………………………….

Blackf: Thank you for your time. It has been a great pleasure doing business with your great sklerch… (ends transmission and turns to guard) How are the prisoners doing?

Guard: Uh find! L-last time I checked!

Blackf: Good. Keep your eye on the strange one… the one from earth.

Guard: Um? Why her your majesty?

Blackf: DO I PAY YOU TO ASK STUPID QUESTIONS?

Guard: UH! No ma'am! I'll check back on them right away!

Blackf: I don't see anyone stopping you! GO! NOW!

Guard: Uh-Yes, your majesty! (leaves)

Blackf: (holds head) Ugh… this is _too_ much. They better be paying BIG time for her…

P'anka'yke: Your majesty…?

Blackf: (turns) WHAT IS IT NO- what are you doing out of your cell?

P'anka'yke: S-she is not going to make it… (holds out AgentM) please help her…

Blackf: What the- WHAT HAPPENED TO HER? She's supposed to be _live_! They won't accept this-!

P'anka'yke: CURE HER RIGHT NOW!

Blackf: I-I'll do what I can! All right? AH DARNX'HALIT! I just sucked my last "doctor" off my ship!

P'anka'yke: WHAT?

Blackf: He was getting on my nerves… We're going to have to land!

P'anka'yke: Where is the nearest planet?

Blackf: Feh! Hardly any! Most are just barren wastelands. Anything still populated we incinerated before we got here…

P'anka'yke: Is there ANY other option?

Blackf: Hm… I don't think we blew Altara Prime… yeah, I don't think we did. I like that place! They got some real nice beaches there-!

P'anka'yke: THEN LET'S GO! CAN'T YOU SEE SHE WON'T LAST MUCH LONGER?

Blackf: Huh? (looks at AgentM)

AgentM: (still groaning in agony) …_rrrg… oooh… p-please… please stop_…

Blackf: (turns head to another Guard) YOU THERE! NOTIFY THE CONTROL CENTER! WE'RE LANDING ON ALTARA PRIME!

AgentM: _oooooh… s-stop …. rrrrrrrm…. s-stop! Just stop! ….oooooh_…

Blackf: How could this happen? How could all this happen…?

AgentM: …_p-please… don't-don't hurt her! … ooooooh…. Oooooh_!

Blackf: WHY ARE WE NOT LANDING YET! YOU BETTER LAND THIS THING OR-!

AgentM: ….DAIDEA! I'M SO SORRY! I'M SO SORRY!

Blackf: LAAAAAAAAAAAND!

……………………………………….

R&R

Hehe… confused? Don't worry. It'll all tie in sometime later. You'll see next chapter.

Please don't be mad or anything! Just thought I should heighten a bit of suspense, y'know?


	9. K JAKjwiel aeoiarjwie

Don't forget to read to the next chapter for the **NEXT AGENTM STORY: AGENTM: THE MOVIE!** Y'see? If you didn't get last chapter's turn of events, don't worry! It was all my evil plot to give you guys the scoop on what's going to happen on my next story, and it'll be a thriller! (see? Even _I'm_ excited! And _I'm_ the author!)

Also, much thanks to **avolon-usagi**, **Canaarie**, **chicagonebananas**, **kkori**, **ninjaofdeath**, **Strix Moonwing**, and **Wandering Loner** for favoriting this story! Although… there's still time for anyone else to favorite it!

I also want to know which of the three AgentM stories was your favorite and why. Thanks!

From the Authoress:

**Happy Sun**: Omigosh! I'm sorry if I made you unhappy! Really, really sorry! You're a great reviewer, and I love receiving your long, rambling reviews!

**Ikarifire**: Yes, thanks for reviewing anyway. If you don't like how this story's going than I wouldn't recommend reading the next AgentM story, because I think I'd like to try out a difference style… more serious, y'know?

**Canaarie**: I called it Hairy Peaches because peaches are very soft and delicious and have little fuzz on them! (Ok, I know you're thinking, "…but that has nothing to do with the chapter…") And… Hey, you're right. That is sorta like that part in the book, but trust me, I had no idea and that was not intentional. And… Yay! I won! Yeah, let's play again! (continues the rematch)

**TeenTitansforever**: Even the most real life brilliant authors in fanfiction can be subjected to the symptoms of writer's block serum.

**Chapter 9. K** **JAKjwiel aeo;iarjwie**

(on Altara Prime)

Blackf: Just stick with me. I know a good doctor for her on this planet, but he's kinda elusive, y'know?

P'anka'yke: Just hurry…

Blackf: I know! I know! (motions to Guards) You are to stay here until I respond, and then we'll blow this joint!

P'anka'yke: (wide-eyed)

Blackf: I-I mean… we don't HAVE to blow this joint, we can just quietly leave, 'kay? You sure she's not too heavy for you? 'Cuz I can bring one other guard.

P'anka'yke: I am fine.

Blackf: (shrugs) Fine by me, it's just that you look pretty weak, no offense. But I guess I'm not one to talk about weaknesses…

P'anka'yke: Yes.

Blackf: Don't have to be so touchy! Remember, you were working under me for a few minutes and right now I need you to listen to me and do whatever I say.

P'anka'yke: I will be obliged.

(both walk off into the night)

…………………………

Blackf: Helloooooo! Anybody here?

P'anka'yke: Who lives here?

Blackf: Toel the witch doctor.

P'anka'yke: Toel the witch doctor?

Blackf: Yeah. Toel the witch doctor. What? That sound hard to believe?

Toel: AKLJnwro; aeu! Kdjaweoue!

Blackf: fjweioeKWRJEOPIEJR! JIERO WJEWIEHA!

P'anka'yke: What alien dialect is that?

Blackf: Excuse me? I'm having a conversation here. Please don't interrupt. Ahem… KWLRUEWOEIEWJRIWE sakrjewaotjhew iomORJIPWERYW Erjw mcieajweit!

Toel: SKFJWOEkdarjwe iWRUMWEOMIWerwkerja!

P'anka'yke: So can he help her?

Toel: WERKdkla muew;ori MU:OIU!

Blackf: He says yes.

P'anka'yke: Oh thank X'hal! Here! (hands AgentM)

Toel: **SKFJEIWERUWME? KSJDF WMEIRYWE!**

Blackf: He asks, "What happened to her?"

P'anka'yke: She ate some seasoned slug after being injected by Gordonian Writer's Block serum.

Blackf: KSRJEWOIEuwkarj eiwheUIROuWEiopru. KASRUEWOEUIAR JWE…. WKRUWIUWE! KSLR! KWRJEW!

Toel: Ah! WKRWEOA?

Blackf: He wants to know if the salt had salt or soy sauce.

P'anka'yke: Both.

Blackf: KJOWRIEUAjsa; rliueairwe!

Toel: KRUEOQWsdk amjwieryepoaiwe!

P'anka'yke: She surely shall not die, would she?

Toel: That really depends on how potent the Writer's Block serum injected into her was.

P'anka'yke: YOU CAN SPEAK TAMARANIAN?

Blackf: Don't look at me! I had no clue he could either! Although, are we really speaking Tamaranian or Earth English?

P'anka'yke: I really do not know. That concept has always confused me…

Toel: Yes, I can speak Tamaranian!

Blackf: See? I never knew that! How the heck did you learn Tamaranian so fluently, and why the heck did you make me talk in that gritty Altaran dialect? It really hurts my jaw, and I just got my braces tightened!

Toel: I'm sorry. I thought I was going to surprise you. I took some extra summer school classes.

Blackf: Summer school classes?

Toel: Yeah, summer school classes!

Blackf: Sheesh! And I had to learn Altaran from an old cassette! …how much were the summer school classes?

P'anka'yke: IS SHE GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT OR NOT?

Toel: hehe. You're lucky you got her to this planet, and so quickly. I'm sure not many doctors can cure her, but I however can. Y'see… a normal person wouldn't suffer so much, but this thing lying all over my table… is. She has a horrible reaction to the stuff, kinda like the Erythrophleum suaveolens herb from her planet… or McDonalds Shamrock shakes for us Altarians.

P'anka'yke: But a normal Earthling would get that reaction?

Toel: Well, actually. No. No they would not.

P'anka'yke: So she is not the normal Earthling.

Toel: My guess is that. She's extremely weird-

Blackf: I second that!

Toel: Best let her stay here for a while.

Blackf: Fine by me! C'mon P'anka'yke! We're going shopping, now!

P'anka'yke: I would wish to stay by her, make sure she shall be all right.

Blackf: Oh she'll be fine! You don't know Toel. He could cure all the diseases in the world if it wasn't for his bad leg.

P'anka'yke: What bad leg?

Blackf: _Again_ with the questions? C'mon! Those shops are calling my name! You can't be an empress without buying out the planet, and Altara's got the BEST malls!

P'anka'yke: Uh… okay then…

………………………………….

Blackf: I would like this… and this… oh and this! …oh and this too, I absolutely NEED this!

RandomAlien: Gee! They let freakin' troqies in here!

Blackf: … … what… did… you… say…?

RandomAlien: …uh. oh…

Blackf: YEEEEEEEEAAAARG! (explodes in violet colored flames; starts socking the guy with powerful, fiery blows and absolutely breaks every bone in his body)

…………………………………..

(Nevermind)

P'anka'yke: I think for AgentM's sake we should change this… (starts erasing script)

Blackf: Fine! Fine! I exploded in violet colored flames and then invited him over for tea and carrot cake! Whatever! Now, can I finish incinerating this foolish insect's flesh?

P'anka'yke: Got it! (continues typing on AgentM's lab top)

………………………………..

Blackf: WE'RE BACK!

P'anka'yke: And we did NOT have fun.

Blackf: Carrot cake?

Toel: Sssh! SILENCE! She's sleeping!

P'anka'yke: Is she well?

Toel: Yeah she's well.

P'anka'yke: I must see her!

Toel: Whatever.

P'anka'yke: (walks over to table)

AgentM: … …_tch… ug…_. … … _oh_…

P'anka'yke: (leans over) AgentM?

AgentM: … … _D-Daidea_?

P'anka'yke: N-No… it is me, AgentM. It is P'anka'yke.

AgentM: … … _D-Daidea? Daidea… I'm sorry… I'm so sorry_…

P'anka'yke: It is all right, AgentM…

AgentM: _You'll forgive me_ …?

P'anka'yke: Of course, AgentM. But for what? You are safe. It is all right.

AgentM: _I'm sorry Daidea_… _… I'm sorry I didn't come_…

P'anka'yke: That is all right. I forgive you.

AgentM: _And I'm sorry I didn't feel like playing_…

P'anka'yke: That is okay, AgentM. It is all right.

AgentM: _And I'm sorry for… for dying_…

P'anka'yke: What?

AgentM: _And our ink child…? I let her free… and I gave her a name_...

P'anka'yke: AgentM. What are you talking about? I do not understand.

AgentM: _Just one letter… I think it's best… To just have your name one letter…_

P'anka'yke: AgentM...?

AgentM: … … _so sorry_…

P'anka'yke: I forgive you, AgentM. But you are safe. All is well.

AgentM: … … P'anka'yke?

P'anka'yke: AgentM?

AgentM: … P'anka'yke? … … … I'm hungry.

P'anka'yke: W-What?

AgentM: Oh man! I'm starving! Got any ramen in this place? (sits up) Say… where is this place? Looks tight!

P'anka'yke: I-uh-but-I-what-it is-um… BLACKFIRE!

AgentM: W-What's going on?

Blackf: (walks in) Oh praise X'hal! You're well.

AgentM: Sup, Blackfire!

Blackf: Great! You're fine! Altara Prime's mine! I can finally be rid of you now!

P'anka'yke: Um… your majesty… who were you going to sell her to?

Blackf: Arg! It doesn't matter anyway! I decided to cancel our agreement! …I didn't want them figuring out I killed her off or something…

AgentM: Yay! Ramen! Hot-pippin bowls of Raaaaamen!

Toel: Here you are, sweetie.

AgentM: (slurp) … (slurp) (slurp) … …

Cata'ryna: HEY! ANYBODY HERE!

P'anka'yke: (runs out of house) Cata'ryna?

Cata'ryna: Hey! There you are! I have been looking ALL over for you! WHERE THE HECK HAVE YOU BEEN? IS AGENTM ALL RIGHT?

P'anka'yke: She is well! How did you get here?

Cata'ryna: By ship. This ship. (points to big ship piloted by Fruit and Gordonian Guard)

Fruit: Hi!

GordonianGuard: Zol!

AgentM: Sup!

GordonianGuard: Here! (walks out of ship holding out bundle) I thought you might want to see the twins!

AgentM: Awwww! They're so cute! …in a slimy, scaly, icky kinda way…

Fruit: Boba for everyone!

All: YEAH!

…………………..

Continued on next chapter.

R&R


	10. Epilogue

**Chapter 10. Epilogue**

P'anka'yke: Um. Say, AgentM...

AgentM: (turns) Huh? What is it P'anka'yke?

P'anka'yke: You are well, right?

AgentM: (smiles) I think so. Except for this huge boba hangover I got, I think I'm cool.

P'anka'yke: You sure?

AgentM: (frowns) Why?

P'anka'yke: Do you… um… remember anything that happened while you were ill?

AgentM: Hahahaha! No. Must've been real bad, right? (turns away) …but I'm fine now, really. And that's all that matters, right?

P'anka'yke: (smiles) Right.

AgentM: Yeah…

P'anak'yke: … … So you do not recall anything? Anything at all?

AgentM: (shakes head) No. Why? Was it real embarrassing?

P'anka'yke: Well… you were saying stuff, and it sorta—um, scared me.

AgentM: Really? What kind of stuff?

P'anka'yke: Something about someone named Daidea… oh and something about an ink child!

AgentM: Oh. (turns away) Never heard of them…

P'anka'yke: AgentM?

AgentM: (turns back) Yes? What's a matter?

P'anka'yke: Have you ever… been another person?

AgentM: I've been a lot of things, P'anka'yke… but I don't think I can be someone else. No one can. Besides… (looks towards sun) Besides… I'm a fanfiction writer/OC/secret agent/titan kidnapper/former HIVE infiltraitor, Slade's apprentice, and… Tamaran Tourist… Nothing more, P'anka'yke… nothing more.

……………………………………

R&R

Warn all your friends and neighbors! AgentM has a movie (not really)!

**NEXT AGENTM STORY: "THE TEAR-STAINED DIARY"**

Grab your microwavable popcorn bags, cuz AgentM's back and more random than ever!

Y'know how the movie to your favorite show/book/etc is thrilling and action packed every minute (ok, not _all_ the movies… but just work with me…)? Well, the next AgentM story will break your for sure!

It's not going to be written in script format, however, so as to keep it pretty exciting and a tad bit more serious than the other AgentM fics.

Also, don't expect it anytime soon (This authoress actually has to _write_ it, and I think I'm going to take a 'lil vacation, if you will). I'm making each chapter a LOT longer than the previous stories' chapters. So, I'll probably take no longer than a month, so just keep your eyes and ears peeled.

In the meantime, I'll keep updating my Avatar fic and I think I'm going to face my "Tournament of Heroines" hiatus dead on (but I'll bring a hatchet and a .45). So look out for that too.


End file.
